Search

[OutlawRun]

I thought it might be fun to bounce around some ideas.  I absolutely love the Saloon show.  For our family, it is a must-do each time we visit SDC.  My favorite story line for the Saloon show are the ones where Mean Murphy comes to town.  I was going over the script in my mind, and I thought of some ways to "refresh" the story a little.  I really wouldn't change much.  Below you will find my version of the script after Murphy sings "I'm Mean!".  Here's how I would "tweak" the script:

Rosie Roots:  So tell me, Murphy, why are you so keen on finding "Bill" from St. Louis?

Mean Murphy:  Nope, nope, I can't talk about it.

Cast:  Come on, Murphy.  Tell us.  Come on, Mr. Mean!

Mean Murphy:  No.  It's personal.. It's just between me and Bill!

Rosie Roots: Aw, come on, Murphy.  It can't be that bad.  Bill seems like a nice guy.  Uh, I mean, if... if I ever had a chance to meet him.  I mean, with a name like "Bill", he sounds like a good fella... especially if he comes from up St. Louis way.

Mean Murphy:  Well, he ain't.  Trust me.

Charlie:  So what did he do, Murphy?  Make a "beak" joke in front of all your pals?

Mean Murphy: (In an outburst of anger.) Leave my nose out of it, Chuck!.  Wait a minute. All right. (Composing himself).  All right, I'm going to take my therapist's advice and I'm going to open up about my struggles and feelins'.  Since you are all so concerned about "Bill" from St. Louis, I'm gonna tell ya what he did. (Getting angry again)   He's that no-good, low-down, lilly-livered, egg-suckin' snake in the grass that BIT MY NOSE OFF!

Cast:   Ewwww!!  Nasty!

Mean Murphy:  So, now you know!  (Getting emotional)  It IS PERSONAL between me and Bill from St. Louis.

Rosie Roots: Boy, I'll say!

Mean Murphy:  He has no idea of what he has put me through over the last year!  (Getting more emotional)  Do you have any idea what it is like to go through life without a nose?

Charlie: I guess nobody but you "nose" that, Murphy!  Hey, do you know why a nose can't be 12 inches long?  Because then it would be a "foot"!  Do you know what you'll find if you look in a pig's nose? A ham booger!

Mean Murphy:  You see, you see, that's the kind of stuff I've got to put up with!  Nose jokes, booger jokes!  I've heard them all!  Plus on top of all that..  (very emotional)  I have...  I have what the doctor's call "phantom sinusitis"!

Rosie Roots: Phantom sinusitis, what's that?

Mean Murphy: Well, it's like my nose, or lack thereof, is just all clogged up.  I can't breath in!  I can't breath out! And it gives me this poundin' sinus headache day and night.  It makes a fella just a little bit irritable!

Rosie Roots: I bet it does! 

Mean Murphy:  And I've tried everything to get some relief. There was that cowpoke up in Cheyenne who told me to tie a baby skunk around my neck.  That didn't work.  And the little rascal chewed me up somethin' fierce!

Charlie:  Sounds like his advice really stunk!

Mean Murphy:  Then there was that Cherokee medicine man that sold me some herbs to stuff inside my gold "prosthetic" nose. He called it C-B-D.

Rosie Roots: C-B-D, what does that stand for?

Mean Murphy:  It stands for "Cherokee Breathin' Detoxifier" and he promised it would cure my phantom sinusitis.  So I started breathin' in that stuff and it wasn't five minutes later and it was lights out, son!.  I mean to tell ya I didn't come to for three days.

Rosie Roots: Sounds like a nightmare!

Mean Murphy:  But the absolute worst thing by far was the contraption a French fellow sold me up in Kansas City.

Rosie Roots: Really, what was that?

Mean Murphy:  He called it a "neti pot".

Rosie Roots: A what-y what?

Mean Murphy: A "neti pot".  It's this little pot with a spout on it.  You fill it up with hot water and you pour it in your nose, if a person had one, and it's supposed to clean out your sinuses.

Rosie Roots: Well did it work?

Mean Murphy: No it didn't work!  It was terrible!  Water going everywhere.  I pert-near drownded on dry land.  It was humiliating!

Rosie Roots: I can see why you might be a bit perturbed towards, Bill.  Tell us, Mr. Mean, just for hypothetical reasons, what would you do if you did come across Bill from St. Louis?

Mean Murphy:  What would I do?  What would I do!  Well, first I'm gonna use that neti pot on him, then I'm going to discombobulate him, and then I'm going to take him by the ears and make a big wish!

[Swoosh]

I want Carrie Nation to be Mean Murphy's mother and have her arrive and ruin his fun terrorizing the saloon staff

[Duelist]

^^ Not bad Outlaw Run- you may have a great "second career" ahead of you!

[OutlawRun]

^^ Not bad Outlaw Run- you may have a great "second career" ahead of you!

Sounds good to me!   

It's crazy the stuff you can come up with when you're driving.

[Bigdog]

Is Jae still available to play Murphy or is he long since retired.  I see his name is still up on the front of the Saloon but haven't seen him there in a long time.

[Preachin_Bill]

Mean murphy show is great. Carrie Nation too. Love the "Working girl" photo above the bar when they dont hide it 
Love it.

[Duelist]

Very happy to see that the Sagebrush Sadie Saloon show is back- it's now playing at the Dockside Theatre!

[Swoosh]

Very happy to see that the Sagebrush Sadie Saloon show is back- it's now playing at the Dockside Theatre!

What in tarnation?

[DianaGail]

Very happy to see that the Sagebrush Sadie Saloon show is back- it's now playing at the Dockside Theatre!

App shows it at the boatworks theater.

[Duelist]

^ I stand corrected.  I was so excited to see that they are still going to do the Sagebrush Sadie show that I typed the wrong theatre. 

[History Buff]

Those floosies out in public where young children can see them?  Shame!

[DianaGail]

^ I stand corrected.  I was so excited to see that they are still going to do the Sagebrush Sadie show that I typed the wrong theatre. 

So are we!  It's the only show we really go to. I just didn't want others to not check their app.

[Duelist]

^ Gotcha